SonicKaos
04-07-2009, 01:07 PM
The following is something I wrote up for April fools day to pull one over on the forums and give everyone a good laugh/something to talk about. I wasn't allowed to post it though, most likely because some people would actually believe it despite how fake it is... Just to be sure though:
This is NOT a real press release! It is completely and totally untrue.
Just read it and have a good laugh.
Skate 3 News!!
Hey everyone,
I just received this press release from the guys at BlackBox! They're going to announcing Skate 3 shortly, and along with it they're touting a few of the new features that are going to be implemented in the game:
Viva la Skate! The revolution continues as Skate 3 raises the bar set by it's predecessors by delivering the culture of skateboarding like it's only been seen twice before. You'll find all the realism, creativity, gang gestures and arm steeze of real life as you skate the world your way - with or without a board.
Show off your skills like you've only dreamed of. Hit the streets of New New San Vanelona before flying around the world to fulfill your ultimate goal of creating the perfect skate video. Of course, you'll also be meeting up and skating with plenty of skateboarding's biggest names along the way. We're not the type to drop names, but be on the look out for Dyrdek and the Hasquatch making triumphant returns, plus both new up and comers and series vets alike. Not very good at skating today? No problem, ditch your board for a camera and follow each other around in the most non creepy way possible. Film your buds doing completely unrelated things and upload it on the new and improved Anything.Reel for the world to see... because we really want to see it?
Style is nothing without a diverse set of tricks, and frankly you'll need a whole new bucket full to wow the crowds and impress the ladies this time... so we're tripling it! However, skating is a tricky (pun intended) sport to learn, so we can't just give these new tricks away, no, no. We're also introducing the new "Skatecore" mode! Taking realism to it's fullest extent, we're focusing on a slow and steady character progression this time around. No longer will you just miss tricks because you're timing was slightly off, you'll also miss tricks at random... just because. We're letting you start out as a young go getter experiencing the joy as you receive your first Walmart skateboard from your mother. You'll have hours of fun learning basic tricks behind your house with access to flatland and a curb (Don't forget to wax it before attempting a grind with out new minigames!) for fear of getting made fun of at the local skatepark. Once you've got them down, you'll be able to pick up local sponsors to get discounts on clothing! Don't expect to come across random big name photographers too soon though, as that McDonalds job is going to have to pay for your equipment for some time. That's just the beginning!
"Skate 3 is the perfect next step for the Skate franchise," said Creative Producer Cuz. "We expanded and further complicated our original ideas and incorporated feedback straight from our super passionate fans. With all new game modes like Skatecore, a larger focus on character progression and a whole new world to explore, the game continues to celebrate skateboarding, while still innovating the genre in an unacceptable way."
Once again, this is ALL made up and is absolutely NOT true.
Key Features:
------------------------------
Triple your bag of tricks - just don't expect to be able to do them first try... it's going to take many years of practice to get these ones down!
Explore New locations around the world - After gaining enough skill to escape the confines of the backyard, check out New New San Van before hopping on a plane to some big name locales.
Compete in new character improving mini games - Not strong enough to move that dumpster into position for a sweet line? Hit the gym! You'll be able to move it in a matter of months.
Improved Hall of Meat - Just make sure you're in Canada, otherwise the cost of fixing you up will skyrocket over time.
Start from scratch - Create your skater at 10 years old and develop him over the years. New technology will allow you to see what he looks like while he ages.
Gain street cred - Use it to purchase followers, because without a crew backing you it's going to get rough.
Upload your randomness - Skating is a lifestyle, and though you'll eventually need an amazing video to sell, you may as well film everything else you do in the mean time.
I don't know about you guys, but I can not wait to get my hands on this gem. It's by far going to be the greatest game in existence! Time to get excited...
------------------------------------------
So yea, hope you all enjoyed it. It was pretty fun to write at least.
This is NOT a real press release! It is completely and totally untrue.
Just read it and have a good laugh.
Skate 3 News!!
Hey everyone,
I just received this press release from the guys at BlackBox! They're going to announcing Skate 3 shortly, and along with it they're touting a few of the new features that are going to be implemented in the game:
Viva la Skate! The revolution continues as Skate 3 raises the bar set by it's predecessors by delivering the culture of skateboarding like it's only been seen twice before. You'll find all the realism, creativity, gang gestures and arm steeze of real life as you skate the world your way - with or without a board.
Show off your skills like you've only dreamed of. Hit the streets of New New San Vanelona before flying around the world to fulfill your ultimate goal of creating the perfect skate video. Of course, you'll also be meeting up and skating with plenty of skateboarding's biggest names along the way. We're not the type to drop names, but be on the look out for Dyrdek and the Hasquatch making triumphant returns, plus both new up and comers and series vets alike. Not very good at skating today? No problem, ditch your board for a camera and follow each other around in the most non creepy way possible. Film your buds doing completely unrelated things and upload it on the new and improved Anything.Reel for the world to see... because we really want to see it?
Style is nothing without a diverse set of tricks, and frankly you'll need a whole new bucket full to wow the crowds and impress the ladies this time... so we're tripling it! However, skating is a tricky (pun intended) sport to learn, so we can't just give these new tricks away, no, no. We're also introducing the new "Skatecore" mode! Taking realism to it's fullest extent, we're focusing on a slow and steady character progression this time around. No longer will you just miss tricks because you're timing was slightly off, you'll also miss tricks at random... just because. We're letting you start out as a young go getter experiencing the joy as you receive your first Walmart skateboard from your mother. You'll have hours of fun learning basic tricks behind your house with access to flatland and a curb (Don't forget to wax it before attempting a grind with out new minigames!) for fear of getting made fun of at the local skatepark. Once you've got them down, you'll be able to pick up local sponsors to get discounts on clothing! Don't expect to come across random big name photographers too soon though, as that McDonalds job is going to have to pay for your equipment for some time. That's just the beginning!
"Skate 3 is the perfect next step for the Skate franchise," said Creative Producer Cuz. "We expanded and further complicated our original ideas and incorporated feedback straight from our super passionate fans. With all new game modes like Skatecore, a larger focus on character progression and a whole new world to explore, the game continues to celebrate skateboarding, while still innovating the genre in an unacceptable way."
Once again, this is ALL made up and is absolutely NOT true.
Key Features:
------------------------------
Triple your bag of tricks - just don't expect to be able to do them first try... it's going to take many years of practice to get these ones down!
Explore New locations around the world - After gaining enough skill to escape the confines of the backyard, check out New New San Van before hopping on a plane to some big name locales.
Compete in new character improving mini games - Not strong enough to move that dumpster into position for a sweet line? Hit the gym! You'll be able to move it in a matter of months.
Improved Hall of Meat - Just make sure you're in Canada, otherwise the cost of fixing you up will skyrocket over time.
Start from scratch - Create your skater at 10 years old and develop him over the years. New technology will allow you to see what he looks like while he ages.
Gain street cred - Use it to purchase followers, because without a crew backing you it's going to get rough.
Upload your randomness - Skating is a lifestyle, and though you'll eventually need an amazing video to sell, you may as well film everything else you do in the mean time.
I don't know about you guys, but I can not wait to get my hands on this gem. It's by far going to be the greatest game in existence! Time to get excited...
------------------------------------------
So yea, hope you all enjoyed it. It was pretty fun to write at least.