Pretending to be a journalist

I don't want to muddy up the chatbox, so I'm bringing this in here where it can die quietly.

Lebron went to Miami.

Here's why:

A - Delonte West probably had sex with Lebron's Mother.
While this is completely impossible to prove, it seems like it might be possible.
Lebron wants to get away from Delonte West, forever, cuz that dude is a motherfucker.


B - Lebron's mother lied to Lebron about who his real father was for his entire life.

Let's think about this. If Lebron's mom got knocked up at 15 years old by a 29 year old Harvard Graduate who could have likely provided a stable home and a respectable amount of cash flow, then shit is scary. If Lebron got raised in a shit ghetto surrounded by drugs and violence, up to his neck in all the risks of extreme poverty, and then found out at 25 years old that he had a perfectly good dad who could have protected him and given him a role model, then he is righteously pissed off at his mother, maybe for life. He's cutting the umbilical cord once and for all and saying, "fuck you moms, I'm out."

C - Lebron is actually a respectably intelligent person who never got the benefits of a decent education, and he has a mild case of "Peter Pan" syndrome. Dude never had to grow up, so he hasn't, and he sees moving away from Cleveland as a step towards becoming his own man. Cut and dry here. I think this one is obvious.

D - He has serious issues with trust. During this years playoffs he tanked the Celtics series to test the Cleveland fans. If they still loved him, even when he failed, then their love was true. If they turned on him when he lost, then their love was fickle, and self serving.

E - Lebron has never played against anyone who was as good as him, except Dwyane Wade, and after the Olympics, he found true friendship in the only person on earth is his physical equal. This friendship need not be mitigated by, awe, fanhood, or respect. Just two dudes who actually understand each other hanging out on the back porch, cooking up some burgers, not talking about how awesome they are.


There you have it, arm chair sports psychology to nth degree. I'm probably wrong about all of this. Oh well.

Lmao... great post. :D Anyways, I think he went to Miami (My favorite team :)) because they already have Wade (Which is my favorite player :)) and Bosh, and he want's put finally put and damn on his finger.