Rap of the Week?

[Antwan]

I thought this would be fun to do.. what do you think?
lyrics;;
Comin with flows 3 ticks shorter than the life of an electrician cause im the technician I'm more intense than a barb wired fence cause its critical and im literal like the pentagon when I'm gone homie who you think is dissin antwanthepawn
just havin fun nawwww meeean?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGMRAgT-tao

[saunders420]

I believe we should turn this into a community event.

The Laughs we could have.

[EternalRewind]

cool

btw what happened to the other rap u had posted?

[Antwan]

Attempt 2.. still trying to figure out what to do with my tone and volume of the voice clip but you know..

[Flea]

i think your voice / style / flow sounds best in the most recent one ! slightly higher / more excited - sounds really good man i bet if you keep going with writing you'd come out with some ill sounding stuffs!

i'll collab with u :P

[Flea]

when i say 'most recent' i really mean the one you started this thread with...

[replicant]

The volume of your voice is fine in the clips, but the tone is a bit too high.
You're running jazz inflected break beats with closer to spoken word rap over top of it.
You need a bit of a deeper tone to your voice and a touch of spacing in some of the phrasing.
"Some say the world will end in fire.... (cont) and would suffice." That entire phrase is offbeat, rushed, and almost mumbled.
No idea how serious you are about this, but it's my 2 cents.

[Demzilla]

write a line...
then match it with the same number of syllables.

that way you go from bar to bar without doing to much over lapping and run offs...
no shortness of breath and plenty of time to have fun...

[Antwan]

Second attempt was me taking advice from someone else haha
can't please everyone eh.. thanks for the advice guys..
I'll keep trying each week not sure I'd call it being serious this is just a side project but I do like improvement.
stay tuned.

[Skatehead]

mad flow my susies...

[Antwan]

Haha.. hell yeah

[Antwan]

If anyone else wants in I guess just post a reply..
it's all about fun.. old, new.. just drop a song..
no ratings.. people will probably give advice if you want it.. could be a decent thing going here.

[Roccityroller]

i'm going to smoke again tonight for the first time in 3 months...

this may happen.

[Antwan]

Hell yeah.. do it man..
I'll probably be smoking tonight myself but I've only been cut off for a week..
oh the perks of working from home.. Baked rap session possible here.. I'll throw down if you do.

[Antwan]

I'm still trying lol

[replicant]

I'm still trying lol

We have got to get you some bass in that voice, son!

[Antwan]

Bass is over rated..
I'd like some facial hair though.

Shit.. haha..
That flow was inspired by pale kid raps fast
but the words just came to me in pairs the last week.

[replicant]

Heh, I guess with my 8-10 inch long terrorist beard you're seething with jealousy.

[iSomali]

Aha im so getting on this, i actually rap, but my studio time is limited and i'm yet to release any of my material but i might do a a lil sumin for you, but don't expect it to be professional as it will be recorded of my laptop, yeh, ill get back to this in a bit, might record sumin tomorrow

[Antwan]

Haha
Mine isn't either
just a laptop headset put to a beat in a video editor..
all about your attitude.. have fun.

[DonVigo]

Yo Antwan, here's mud in your eye, bro.

Thought I'd introduce myself to you:

[replicant]

Yo Antwan, here's mud in your eye, bro.

Thought I'd introduce myself to you:

So scary how much you look like a friend of mine from back in school. DV has Bass in his voice, good flow, and facial hair... Antwan, the ball is in your court now!

[iSomali]

If any of you can find the instrumental to either:
Hoodie Allen - you are not a robot

or

Shwayze - Buzzin (with hook)

I would appreciate it loads, i've been searching for long but can't find the instrumental to either of them

[Antwan]

Nice Don..
Yeah I dunno man I don't really scout for certain instrumentals
just listen to things until I find something I like and then write to it

quickie since things are picking up..

[replicant]

Ant, a much better flow there.

[Antwan]

Thanks rep
Here's the latest

[DonVigo]

Dude, your flow jumped like 10 notches this time around. GOOD show. The geeky critique I have for you: Mellow out your rhymeschemes. You could afford to use a few more words inbetween rhymes and say a lot more to enrich the overall lyrical quality of your tracks. Being an MC is about having something to say, or at least, it should be.

To put it into relative terms: You're going all Haslam on this shit. We need you a bit more Hosoi. Haslam's tech abilities are freaky-good, but you could use some more flowey and showey style ala Hosoi.

Here's my attempt:

[Antwan]

Nice, Nice..
Yeah man I just got my running shoes on in this thing
Jog before I run.

[DonVigo]

Yeah, kinda. Trust me on this one, if there's one thing my producer busts my balls on it's my word count. I'm finding myself doing more work in editing my thoughts down than I ever do putting them down the first time. I keep telling myself: "I must be fluid. Flow, don't drip."

[Antwan]

That's my issue..
My flow goes up when I cut down word count
I feel I gotta figure some way to combine the two
It'll get there.. I think I'm progressing pretty fast.

[replicant]

Thanks rep
Here's the latest

Definitely not bad. I think from :55-the end you did well. Right at :55 you twisted a bit for like 1s-2s, but then got on track and it flowed pretty good.
The earlier parts weren't bad, but with such a smooth jazz beat it felt a bit off with all the breaks.
Keeping the flow going with the beat to me should be paramount. You may also consider tuning songs up octave slightly so they harmonize a bit more with your voice since it's a little high.
Solid improvement though.

[replicant]

Dude, your flow jumped like 10 notches this time around. GOOD show. The geeky critique I have for you: Mellow out your rhymeschemes. You could afford to use a few more words inbetween rhymes and say a lot more to enrich the overall lyrical quality of your tracks. Being an MC is about having something to say, or at least, it should be.

To put it into relative terms: You're going all Haslam on this shit. We need you a bit more Hosoi. Haslam's tech abilities are freaky-good, but you could use some more flowey and showey style ala Hosoi.

Here's my attempt:

I lol'd at the end when you complimented the beat and your words. Nice work man and I agree about message and flow.

[replicant]

Thought I'd bring out a rapper to you guys that you might not know, but I think shares a style that both of you can identify with. I've listened to MC Celtic for about 4ish years now after someone sent me to his myspace in WoW. The dude is out of Florida and has a nice style, flow for days, and great beats. He usually releases his albums on his myspace/website for 2-4 weeks completely free and then puts them on itunes and such to sell.

His Website (Being Rebuilt from his old site):
http://www.mcceltic.com

His Myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/celtic01


I have his Riot in Dublin album which I don't think he sells anymore I can hook you up with if you like his style. Independence Day is my favorite album, but his other two are still solid as well.

My favorite song he does is Old School Master off of Independence Day. Couldn't find a youtube of it so here is a SoundClick link with it. He has 4 songs posted there you can listen to.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...?bandID=619789

[DonVigo]

Thanks Rep! Back when I fronted a band I was allowed a minute between every song for the random nonsense I'd just come up with. I swear that's how we booked shows. "You're the punk band with the funny guy who raps, right?!" It's an odd complement when you hear more about your humor than music, but fuck, at least people are listening!!!

Speaking of, I'm listening to MC Celtic right now, and I dig. I have to admit, that's almost exactly what I wish my voice sounded like. I have this whole nasily nerd thing going on... Which... Seeing as I'm a total geek works.... But, sometimes I wanna be one of the cool MC's.

And Antwan, you nailed a couple things. Less words means more flow, and you're coming along QUICK. Getting good at this shit is a tough process, 'cause you have to be willing to focus a LOT more on your shortcomings than what you do well so you can improve. Chef Gordon Ramsey was a good teacher for me in this regard. The only feedback he wants is negative, 'cause that's what he needs to work on. I still think praise where it's due, though. One of these days, we should collab a track about fakeskating or something.

Also, if you ever need instrumentals, I have a pretty deep collection. Loves me the bittorrent marketplace.

[Antwan]

Eh I don't know how I feel about this one
was working on sending a message as well as a "slow flow" inspired by biggie
Several takes and this sounded best.. let me know what you dudes think.

[replicant]

I got a Cypress Hill feel from you rapping that time, but it didn't fit the beat to me.
I think for that style of slow cadence you need a lot of break beats and stutter beats.

[Antwan]

Thanks for the honesty..
still going to post one next week just something I was messing with.

[Antwan]

New concept this week
going with the flow..
as in
I tried to save a bunch of stuff to my phone, which I don't normally do
and by accident I deleted these freestyles
so I said fuck it.. let's go acapella so step up you've got till monday morning
you don't have to do it acapella but I tried haha.. it's all for fun and that's the message here.

And yes.. I am sideways.

[iSomali]

okay i'v got my first track here, hope u guys like it...
its abit personal tho, about my dad passing away n shit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPX7GgpXI2s


Constructive critism is welcome, just don't be an asshole tho

[replicant]

New concept this week
going with the flow..
as in
I tried to save a bunch of stuff to my phone, which I don't normally do
and by accident I deleted these freestyles
so I said fuck it.. let's go acapella so step up you've got till monday morning
you don't have to do it acapella but I tried haha.. it's all for fun and that's the message here.

And yes.. I am sideways.

Somehow this missed my radar. It didn't go that bad to me. Some of it felt rushed, but I'd wager some of that was basically nerves.