Hey guys.. real talk here for a second... Last night I had to endure coding a man my age in full arrest and he didn't make it after 2 hours of working on him...and he was in much better shape than I was. At that moment the ER Dr called it.. I had an epiphany....about how we go through our whole lives mostly these days as the bare minimum...only to die broke and heartbroken.. I can't have that anymore. I've coded plenty of ppl in my time on my profession in 3 years, usually older, but it made me realize that I can't keep going through my life fueled on anger and booze. That is exactly what is going to put me in this poor guys position in the long run. So for me its been a long time coming to turn over a new leaf. I'm not asking everyone here for pity or anything else besides support to strengthen me into my future endeavors. I am looking for support; not charity. I hope all of you understand that the jackass in the past was not really "me", and one day I hope to make it up to each and every one of you. You can PM me anytime for anything. Vita E Morte