Rap of the Week?

[iSomali]

okay i'v got my first track here, hope u guys like it...
its abit personal tho, about my dad passing away n shit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPX7GgpXI2s


Constructive critism is welcome, just don't be an asshole tho

[replicant]

okay i'v got my first track here, hope u guys like it...
its abit personal tho, about my dad passing away n shit

Constructive critism is welcome, just don't be an asshole tho

The song was just odd to me. I thought the technique was there, but not showcased. The beat was slow and went with your styling, but 1m 5s of lyrics (all in a row leaves lots of dead space) in a 3m song seems like a waste of a good track. The Harmonic Beats (voice overs, calls, double speak, etc... whatever name you like for them) also I think we're overused to the point that they no longer felt like stress points and went into simple cadence. Overall, it was still a good song, but needed to be about 1.5m shorter or have more verses.

[iSomali]

The song was just odd to me. I thought the technique was there, but not showcased. The beat was slow and went with your styling, but 1m 5s of lyrics (all in a row leaves lots of dead space) in a 3m song seems like a waste of a good track. The Harmonic Beats (voice overs, calls, double speak, etc... whatever name you like for them) also I think we're overused to the point that they no longer felt like stress points and went into simple cadence. Overall, it was still a good song, but needed to be about 1.5m shorter or have more verses.

I got a 2nd verse for this track, i've already pre-recorded it but it doesnt quite fit without a chorus/hook but i cannot sing and cannot think of anything to make a good chorus

[Antwan]

Something I was messing with..
Haha the voice at the end is actually my own came out hilarious.