Rap of the Week?

[saunders420]

I believe we should turn this into a community event.

The Laughs we could have.

[EternalRewind]

cool

btw what happened to the other rap u had posted?

[Antwan]

Attempt 2.. still trying to figure out what to do with my tone and volume of the voice clip but you know..

[Flea]

i think your voice / style / flow sounds best in the most recent one ! slightly higher / more excited - sounds really good man i bet if you keep going with writing you'd come out with some ill sounding stuffs!

i'll collab with u :P

[Flea]

when i say 'most recent' i really mean the one you started this thread with...

[replicant]

The volume of your voice is fine in the clips, but the tone is a bit too high.
You're running jazz inflected break beats with closer to spoken word rap over top of it.
You need a bit of a deeper tone to your voice and a touch of spacing in some of the phrasing.
"Some say the world will end in fire.... (cont) and would suffice." That entire phrase is offbeat, rushed, and almost mumbled.
No idea how serious you are about this, but it's my 2 cents.

[Demzilla]

write a line...
then match it with the same number of syllables.

that way you go from bar to bar without doing to much over lapping and run offs...
no shortness of breath and plenty of time to have fun...

[Antwan]

Second attempt was me taking advice from someone else haha
can't please everyone eh.. thanks for the advice guys..
I'll keep trying each week not sure I'd call it being serious this is just a side project but I do like improvement.
stay tuned.