Getting a free t-shirt is not always a good thing.....

[Monk]

Never would have thought getting a free T-shirt at Kohl's would be such a pain in the ass. For those who like to know how to get a free t-shirt at Kohl's the Monk way, follow these steps to a tee.

1. Get your free t-shirt at Kohl's with Kohl's 10 dollar gift card

2. Have your Rodeo's engine blow up on you 1.5 miles past the highway 78 bridge exit on 45 bypass.

3. Realize you left your phone at the house, and the emergency Tracfone minutes are still processing for 3 fuckin hours now.

4. Walk said 1.5 miles back to 78 ramp only to find a gulley to cross to Mallville in shorts with knee high grass filled with who knows what kind of critters ready to bite/poison you. Or walk another 3 miles down 45 to the next exit.

5. Invisible/inpassable creek appears at bottom of 100 ft hill you just navigated down and must get back up said hill.

6. Walk another mile down 78 to the Gloster St. bridge; only to find barbed wired fence blocking you from descending down 45 degree jagged concrete incline.

7. Rip your shorts and drawls trying to vault the barbwire fence with backpack on, almost rolling down jagged concrete incline to your doom.

8. Finally making to Best Buy looking like a tactical mall ninja with engine grease all over arms and face, sweat rolling out of every pore of your body, underwear hanging out of ripped shorts, with everyone in the store eying your Maxpedition backpack like you're about to shoot up the place.

9. Luckily having a friend that works there to let you use the phone to get a ride and Rodeo towed.

P.S. I'm taking the fuckin shirt back tomorrow- it's most definitely cursed. Sad thing is it was an Avenger's emblem tee..