update from zacks page with some good news..

Sorry for the lack of updates in a time where people are really looking for "new" news...seriously the outpouring of love and concern has been staggering to the point where I haven't cried this much since the '70s (do the math)...but since I have a moment...here we go.

If you don't know the ins and outs of Leukemia chemotherapy it is of the most aggressive chemo procedures as my cancer is flowing throughout my entire body and I have no immune system because of it. The first round was a continuous 24/7 full week of chemo with an additional 3 days where I got a secondary bag on top of that.

I got more hours of chemo than there are hours in an actual week to put it simply.

This is why I wanted no visitors. People who wanted to visit just had no idea how ugly this beast is. There is no talking as my tongue and throat swelled to catastrophic proportion as eating and drinking was impossible for nearly 3 weeks and I lost 25 pounds over all. My hemoglobin levels dropped to the point where there was no coherency or reality and I lost touch with with my own speech or ability to even know who I am, where I am at, or who the other people in the room even were...it felt like psychosis. Add on top of that the vomiting and nausea and numerous bodily maladies that I lost complete control over, and which need no explanation, just turned me into an infantile animal...an animal...that had also lost all of his hair as well.

...and I just wasn't letting people see me like that...sorry if there were any hard feelings over the lack of info or reunions but something's just weren't possible in this chaotic mess.

...anyway...that's the past.

Nearly entering my 3rd week in the hospital and as that hellish session of chemotherapy ended just about a week ago I received a second bone marrow biopsy to reveal whether or not that experience paid off...

...it did...in full.

I have no Leukemia cells in my body...none...not a single one.

I have never cried so hard in my life. The uncertainty of what was going on in my body and how many days, weeks, or months it would take to kill the Leukemia or for it to kill me was unbearable...and this news broke all that fear.

I have no cause for uncertainty now...I have no immune system currently as my WBCs are at a quantity of 0 but that's to be expected as it is now my bodies job (and the doctors) to rebuild itself without the interference of cancerous Leukemia cells.

This is such great news that the first round of chemo was so effective. I might have to do some minor sessions in the future just to make sure the cancer is gone completely, but the major war has been won...the rest of the battle is just cleaning up the field.

I could not have done this without my family, friends, and well wishes from people whom I've never met but cared enough to say "get better soon"...it just wouldn't have happened. The support I received far exceeded my ability to drag my world down around me as I'm generally known to do.

Thank you so much...I can't say that enough...and please keep me in your thoughts as I could be in here for another couple weeks as my immune system becomes human again.

...but with the uncertainty of mortality off of my shoulders this is just a waiting period to starting a new, healthier life that I appreciate it and the people around me more.

I took life for granted...I do not anymore.

-Z